I Just Can't See What I Am Missing Out On!

I JUST CAN'T SEE WHAT I WOULD BE MISSING!

A Creative Commentary

By

David A. Archer

02/15/1968

I consider things having transpired in my life in recent years... as I have before in similar considerations as is this... but again, and even more to the point of observation, I just don't see what I would be missing out on.

In the past, I have experienced levels of slander campaigns that any celebrity personality would be pleased with. Such mostly having been designed in the interest of making themselves important concerning the presence of existing estates in trust.. and of course, now that I consider it again... the then existing potentials concerning other facets of social existence. Particularly concerning potentials in and around perceived forms of notoriety.

Such with no regard to my personal leanings concerning such perceived potentials.

I then wanted little to do with notoriety, and now find that I want such even less considering the vast array of particularly distasteful social elements in and around such.

I really cannot reason what it is or would be that I am missing out on.

I have realized through much of the experience, that in no way would I ever leave any sort of estate entrusted to anyone I may or may not have known. Especially people of relative concerns such as children and the sort. Based on experience, such is really one of the worst things a person could do to said persons in our modern day. All that I gained from such legitimate trust(s), was and is bad life experience... the sort which divulges the truest sense of human disposition. Even and most laughably concerning the manufactured aspects which arise in such flurries of propaganda (gossip).

I have seen people nearly drive themselves mad based on fiction which was produced from much similar things to their own efforts. Making themselves crazy in the wrongful efforts to become associated with even things that arose from gossip concerning said potentials.

In some respects a person could consider that I must have had great potential in several areas... including the present fiscal estates - never realizing myself that they were any sort which could bring the types of attentions which they did. They truly must have been substantial invested interests. More so than the modest expectations I had always just assumed within the care of legal representations - which obviously failed to meet the contracted obligations concerning said trust(s).

I must have really been some ass kicking performer as well. Most likely even regarding the professional arena as much as the hobby of making music. The level of said attention seems it could indicate nothing else in hind sight.

I look at it now, considering my former professional status... and realize more that my potential must have been blinding. I didn't realize it.. but considering the onslaught of crap I have waded through meant as one form of confabulation or another... I must have been poised for no less than national recognition.

Having experienced things I have experienced since.... I just cannot see what it is that I am missing out on. such in regard to any front which could be presented in such concerns.

Peer grouping?

I don't see it.

Fame?

Don't see what could be so magnificent as to tolerate the peripheral aspects I have observed.

Mating potentials?

I cannot even begin to comprehend what could be so incredible as to justify such an exchange. Especially concerning the standards having been presented as both higher than my own, and presumably more acceptable if not preferable than the simple approach to life I have long embodied.

All that I really lost within the forms of displayed desperation, was the participation in and of a career path I enjoyed.

The amount(s) within the trusts couldn't have been so substantial as to be worth co-existence concerning other interested parties. In the big picture, I am sure they amount to nothing more than a free roll of nickles at some run down slot machine building somewhere.... most definitely nothing to compromise ones self to such extremes for.

I just do not begin to see what it is that I could be missing out on.

I cannot begin to imagine anything which could be presented within such context, that I would suddenly find myself feeling as though I had been put out concerning inclusion. Even when considering that which has been presented as being nothing but pure confabulation. Being done in what ever interests including pseudo political reasoning.

None of that angle even pertains to my person... most especially in regard to said chance that such had been manufactured in some effort to deceive.

It is just as non-issue as are the actual and observable consistencies concerning the factual occurrences. Most especially when a person reasons the balance of it.

To presume that such had been purely manufactured as fiction in some want to deceive, is itself inconsistent regarding the obvious inspiration for presumably having done so. Why would interested parties choose to devalue that which they seek to be affiliated with through such fabrication?

In that sense, there is then no proof of said deception... only more to corroborate the very reasons a person would not feel left out.

In that sense further, it can be said that the confabulation is failure itself in such efforts to conceal, produce reaction.... on and so forth. Most especially the attempts at some form of conditioning which then state that any such commentary as is being presented here, is then only used to incriminate the issuer as per some form of promoted dictation regarding such efforts to deceive.

Such is to say, within the ploy itself is the effort to insist that the victim is the issuer of said instruction... as if to be condemning ones self to said result.

The fact is... initially, even if only regarding the modest estates.... I cannot recall ever instructing anyone to fail in adherence to legally contracted estate instruction.

It is truly a sad display of humanity... but for some reason is actually promoted from somewhere. The presence of such an effort as to psychologically condition my person regarding mentioning the sloppy display in such a manner as to indicate it as being my instruction... really is nothing more than incredibly firm support to the direction again, of not seeing what it is that I am missing out on being a part of.

It amounts to the mental capacity and social application of I am rubba, you are glue.

All I can find myself considering in the continued efforts in applying what ever sad psychological conditioning ploy from where such originates, is how grateful I am not to have become a larger part of it. I cannot see myself willingly participating in what ever may be the desired results of said peripheral efforts beyond the confabulation regarding estate trusts.

I am just not interested, I suppose. For various reasons.

If such is in the interest of preparatory reasoning... then again, I just do not see what I am missing out on. It is obvious I am not what was to be expected... then further, I am not suited for inclusion - again, to no dismay of my own.

That itself is another point of entertainment for myself. for what ever reasons concerning the want of affiliation to what ever may have been perceived... said interested parties just can't seem to accept that I have no feeling of loss in not being included in what ever others could see as so special, to such a degree as to employ said tactics. Such includes the want to be seen as having deceived.

I just do not see what I am missing out on.

It isn't that I cannot reason great and grand actions and activities.... It is that I cannot reason anything within my capability to do so, which would be worth that which has been presented in so many other ways. More especially, I can't see what is not special enough to preserve from said ploys, if in fact such is worth being a part of to begin with.

Just damn sad in allot of respects. So damn sad that I cannot see what I could be missing out on.